WIP #4 - Parallels in Spacetime

This is one of my more fully-developed songs; you may have heard it in an earlier, instrumental form a few years ago.  I'm really curious to hear what people think about this song in particular, since it is as close to being "done" as anything on this site.  How does it flow?  How are the lyrics, both in content and delivery?  Balance issues?  I may redo the drum tracks, but I'm pretty happy with the instrumentation otherwise.


Parallels in Spacetime by brotherwren

http://haoma.neonphog.com/music/demos/parallels.mp3

Lyrics

you could try to sleep
close the door and dim the lights
and try not to forget what came over me

i could try to pause, i
essentialize and redact the lies and
stop at the sudden smell of clover

these moments hanging high
like electric lights in a sunlit sky
arrive and recall what is missing

another day is gone
another night to spend alone another
time another time another time another time another

(bridge)

you could try to sleep
the solitude of a sightless smile
and hope for dreams to come and take you over

i could look at you and think
why i didn't think i'd fall
and take a look behind at my footsteps

(bridge)

you could try to dream
lose yourself in another time
and maybe find another life to enter

i could do the same
for time is just another dream
and maybe you are waiting for me there

illuminate, but never blind
these electric lights in a sunlit sky
i swore that i never would be that way

we could intertwine
intersect between the lines
we could be parallels in space-time

and oh,
what a wonderful thought we shared that night
and oh,
what a powerful loss we could barely face
and oh,
what a comfortable sigh behind closed eyes
and oh,
what a vulnerable time to be alive